


Sakusa's TV commercial

by Lucian (dirtypawshistorie)



Series: Kiyoomi's and Atsumu's days: i'm lucky to have you [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Hurt/Comfort, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Injuries, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, a bunch of head canons, mentions of sexual abuse, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:54:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28204185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtypawshistorie/pseuds/Lucian
Summary: Atsumu had two problems. One was being injured and treated like a kid, and the other one, was how stupidly horny he felt for his boyfriend.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: Kiyoomi's and Atsumu's days: i'm lucky to have you [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951534
Comments: 5
Kudos: 163





	Sakusa's TV commercial

**Author's Note:**

> This is a direct continuation of [ 'tsumu, let it out ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26677303) (you don't have to read it to understand to plot line). Probably the finale of my sakuatsu series. Be mindful of CW in the tags.

Atsumu's mind was split into two problems at the moment. 

The first one, was having to deal with being injured after a very long time. Their last match ended in a shameful note, even if his team mates said otherwise, Atsumu knew they lost because of his sprained ankle. Losing balance for all reasons, not receiving the ball in the right way and pushing himself to deliver it properly, his body made a weird turn and to prevent from falling, his right ankle took all the force. 

It hurt as hell, sent him to the bench for almost nine days now, and it cost them the semi-finals. 

The last time he had an injury was in his second year of high school, just before an important practice match in which Atsumu wanted to practice his then new serve. He didn't warm up properly and the plant of his foot sprained. Kita scolded him for not taking proper care of himself, and was sent to the bench a whole week. After that, Atsumu never again got a cold, an injury, even not a hangover, being sure to practice Kita's mantras word for word. 

And then, there he was— several years later, committing the same mistake again.

Shameful, annoyed and stupid was exactly how he felt and described himself. 

Atsumu got out of Sakusa's silver car and closed the co-driver door behind him. He was about to open the back door to get his backpack, but Sakusa already got it for him at the other side. Sakusa got around the car to his side and told him, ''Let's go.'' 

Atsumu rode his eyes and walked limply beside Sakusa, his boyfriend walking closer as he has done the last few days. Sakusa's care for him was welcomed but still annoying, Atsumu wasn't a kid anymore. 

''You are as matured as a twelve year old,'' Sakusa told him when Atsumu complained about his care. In the gym, Sakusa stood beside him sipping his bottle of water, and Atsumu on the bench fisting his shorts and his can of tea.

''But my body is not, Omi-kun. I can still do all sorts of stuff on my own. An ankle support doesn't stop me from being capable of doing my daily chores, y'know,'' Atsumu snarked and took another sip of his tea, to try to refresh his throat from shouting. Sakusa had been insisting on being around him every day on his medical leave, remarking that Atsumu had to be looked after. But Atsumu wasn't stupid enough to even try to practice, or push himself too much for something to actually happen. 

''I would be really thankful if you keep an eye on him,'' Meian commented behind him. To which Sakusa shrugged and said that it was his price to pay for agreeing to be with Atsumu. 

Atsumu frowned and wanted to keep on yelling. But both men already walked away to practice, leaving Atsumu to finish his can and squash it.

Now, nine days after Sakusa named himself his nanny, they were walking to the elevator of Sakusa's building department across the parking lot. Their small talk being Atsumu asking what they will have for dinner, Sakusa asking him if he ever not thought about food, and Atsumu answering ''Yeah, when we're playing.'' But the mystery of the Miya twins metabolism was left for another day, when they noticed that the elevator had a sign with '' _OUT OF FUNCTION_ '' in red letters. 

''Oh God,'' atsumu cursed. 

Sakusa too sighed, and readjust his and Atsumu's backpack on each shoulder, ''Let's go to your apartment.'' 

Atsumu saw the clock on his wrist and shook his head, ''We're already here. Let's just take the stairs.'' Sakusa took a long look at him, from bottom to top. ''Omi-kun, I can still walk. Four floors won't kill me.'' 

Sakusa started walking and answered, ''Whatever you say then. But I don't want to listen to your whining after.'' 

Atsumu huffed, but still felt like he had a small victory, and set foot on the stairs. Being extra careful of his limp and ankle, resting all weight on his arms and the railing at the side. He had still had his arms and his other leg, he would be fine.. 

Even if it took them extra long, Sakusa walked at a slow pace too, and to fill the air between them, Atsumu started talking about the practices he had watched, and how he already had a lot of fun and new ways to use his team mates. Sakusa reduced to nod and agree, responding only with necessary commentary on either approval or enforcement of his plays, Sakusa rarely denied Atsumu's creativity on game. Atsumu moved his hands too excited and forgot about maintaining his balance, when the movement of his fists made him skip a step, almost falling face to the stairs. But Sakusa grabbed his torso before falling, making their bags drop on the steps. 

''Oof, that was close,'' Atsumu said nervously, he got too excited.

Sakusa's gaze moved from one to unbothered to actually annoyed, his black mask covering what probably was a pout. ''Don't be so reckless, you idiot.'' 

''I'm just passionate, let me be.'' 

''And I'm just reminding you to be careful, I really meant it when I said I don't want listen to you doing a tantrum all over again.'' 

Atsumu shrugged him off, and expected Sakusa to move away, but he kept his hand lingering on his waist. He realized that Sakusa in fact intended to hug him while they walked upstairs. 

His second problem was that being too physically near Sakusa, made him incredibly conscious.

The rest of the walk, Atsumu tried to keep on rambling, but he couldn't really focus on what he was saying. They got to the front door and Sakusa finally let go, he got the keys and opened his apartment door. 

Atsumu could say something again about the weirdly tidy space, and how he hated that lavender artificial smell, as he always did. But his mind was railracking thanks to Sakusa's touch lingering on his skin, tingling under his clothes as a reminder— reminder of how much he longed for Sakusa physically, sexually. 

He needed for those hands to ruin him, and he felt guilty by it. 

* * *

As a healthy twenty-four years old man, Atsumu had his needs. 

He was trying to jerk off on a Friday noon before going to his night run, scrolling through porn videos on his phone. The TV was on, for white noise, still on after his binging on the medical drama he caught up earlier while eating lunch. His horniness came unprovoked but still welcomed, he had not jerked off in almost three weeks. 

He found a promising video. Nothing special, a rimming kink on the title and the bottom was wearing knee socks. Atsumu tucked his hands under his grey pants, passed his thumb over his head until it became wet, and started jerking himself off.

The video was fifteen minutes long, and he found himself almost coming, but when the top came, he came all over the bottom's face and Atsumu was put off by the fake moan the actor gave. So, the video finisdhed, and him, breathing through his nose and sucking on his bottom lip, he used the next best thing on his arsenal, his imagination.

Again, nothing special. He imagined himself being touched by an elegant hand, groping his ass, circling his hole, thrusting a finger or two, Atsumu himself moving his other hand to grab at his balls, feeling the heat fastly build up on his core. His eyes closed, his concentration only on his pleasure, he fastened his pace. Gripping tighter at the tip, long fast strokes, wanting to come already. 

To come before he gave more thought to, where exactly, his thoughts were going. 

Then the commercial for the new energizing drink Sakusa shot a month ago started sounding on the TV. 

Atsumu opened his eyes without realizing, moaning low to himself, and now focusing on Sakusa's scenes. Where they slowmo his body doing a serve, his stupidly perfect posture, the way his back arches, his perfect profile nose, and the way his forearm muscles tense.

Atsumu came on his hands, forgetting to grab a tissue.

He whined and heard a ping of a new message on his phone beside him. It was a notification from Sakusa, asking to give back his black sweater. Atsumu blushed furiously and grunted, taking off said sweater. 

After that, Atsumu moved straight to the bathroom, his face feeling hot and a sudden urge to cry surrounding him. He took a long cold shower, scrubbing and scrubbing until his skin was bright red from the friction. Run put for later, thoughts connected only by thin strings and the now familiar guilt coming back to his chest.

* * *

Sakusa went to the kitchen right away, leaving their bags on the table, and leaving Atsumu at the entrance to put his stuff where usual. 

Atsumu looked at the now familiar apartment with something akin to fear and excitement. He hasn't been there for almost a month now, before his injury they were busy enough, and after it, their schedules changed so they only met just at practice and after. 

In fact, he did like Sakusa's place, it smelled really nice. Sakusa had at least one aromatizer candle, and an antibacterial bottle in every room. Which were the origin of the lavender, jazmin and sea like aroma from the rooms. Sakusa also had a couple of succulents at the rim of the window kitchen, and at the coffee table in the living room. 

Sakusa's big living room, oddly big despite Sakusa's lack of visits. ''For when Komori visits'' Sakusa said, but it was still weird. Later he found out Sakusa liked to spread the sofa into a bed, bring a bunch of wool blankets and pillows; To read there, his head tucked under the pillows. 

Atsumu put his sneaker at the entrance, and slowly walked to the sofa, dropping himself there, humming happily.Being in Sakusa's apartment put him in a weird happy mood, like he had won a game again, although he had been there several times. He knew no more than five people had actually been there while Sakusa lived in it. Being special was always something good on Atsumu's book. 

''Omi-omi~! Make some coffee for me, please~'' Atsumu shouted so Sakusa could hear him at the kitchen. 

''It's eight pm, you don't need it.'' Sakusa responded. 

''It's fairly early!'' 

''I don't want you bugging me at 3 am that you can't sleep'' 

''But I'm cold!'' 

''Then put on a sweater'' 

''It's so far!'' 

Sakusa appeared from the wall that divided the kitchen and the living room, walking to the corridor where his bedroom was and reappearing with what Atsumu actually wanted. 

Sakusa dropped a big white wool blanket over Atsumu's head, more like throwed it to his head rather that leave it fall. 

''You're so annoying, you know that?'' 

''I've been told'' Atsumu answered, uncovering his face from the blanket and giving Sakusa a sheepish grin. ''Sadly, ya still like me like this'' 

''Don't think of yourself so high,'' Before Atsumu could respond, Sakusa interrupted him, ''I'll go take a shower, I'll be right back.'' And walked to the corridor again.

Humming to himself and getting more comfortable under the blanket, crossing his good foot under his other leg, and getting out his phone to check his social media, he felt himself relax against the big cushion. 

If the day came that someone knew how much he was actually whipped for Sakusa, he would right out die. He felt stupid by how happy it made him being in his apartment, just being in Sakusa's home. Under a blanket Sakusa bought specially for him, in a place that Sakusa made space for him. 

In the morning, Sakusa's house smelled like Atsumu's favorite brand of coffee. And when Sakusa cooked meals, he liked a balanced diet, so it consisted mostly of vegetables and little protein. But Atsumu once commented he really liked ham and since then, he has seen ham more often. Atsumu felt more than spoiled, it was grossly comforting. How Sakusa had assigned a blanket for him, his own pillow, a pair of sandals, a dozen of wool socks. 

He also had some of Sakusa's shirts in his own apartment, which were ''Too short for me anyway, you can use them as pijamas.'' Saksua told him. Atsumu never knew he would like a simple black t-shirt so much in his life.

Sakusa also had an array of different teas at display and his kitchen was oddly cozy. It had warm countertops, and white towels. It looked a lot like those american coffee shops he liked to visit when they went abroad. Sakusa, around his house, wore a pair of soft sweatpants, a long sleeve shirt and a hairband, ''I don't like my hair getting in the way.''

The summer air was fairly hot outside, but Sakusa liked to keep the air conditioner on all day, so his home was always freezing. Atsumu liked that it was cold because Sakusa's blankets were fuzzy and warm. His favorite night Atsumu had spent there was, when they were watching a horror movie, both jumped at a scary scene, making Atsumu hug Sakusa without thought, and what was greater, Sakusa held him back. 

Until Atsumu broke off laughing, saying ''Your face! Oh my god, I'll never forget it.'' That moment, Sakusa couldn't help but laugh too, by the way Atsumu was all startled and clinging to him.

Atsumu also started to recapp the many things Sakusa did for him on that day. Details that were only noticeable for Atsumu, because they were meant only for him. The comments on his plays, how Sakusa welcomed him in his apartment, how Sakusa let him use his sweater now, the fact that Osamu actually called Sakusa instead of him to ask how he was doing. Well, that didn't make him feel happy, but spoiled. 

So spoiled it was dumb. Atsumu liked to be taken care of by Sakusa, but he also felt the need to fight it. To cause a reaction out of Sakusa, because he's still capable of everything, and because it was natural for him to be a brat. 

Atsumu smiled to himself, looking at 'Samu's new plate on Instagram and made a mental reminder to go there next week. 

He felt really happy. 

And then an ugly feeling assaulted his happy train of thought, as it did sometimes. Just sometimes. 

* * *

The laundry machines rumbling were subtle compared to the cars honking outside in the last spring rain. Their pile of clothes were spread on the metal table, Sakusa standing at the other side in front of him, folding their clothes too. Some football game was playing on the TV, and the gentle lady called for her cat to feed it, Atsumu craved something cold to drink. 

Atsumu while folding their clothes, he asked Sakusa how he didn't have a problem washing his clothes in a laundry that a lot of people used. Sakusa then explained that soap is soap, and it was stupid to care if other people touched the same soap as them. Atsumu noticed the look the lady owner gave Sakusa, a fond one. Atsumu smiled to the side, nodding. 

They recently got into the routine of doing chores together. It helped Atsumu keep his life together, and Sakusa to move less and do less. Both agreeing that they got an equal benefit to it.

Atsumu grabbed one of Sakusa's old university volleyball shirts, and immediatly threw it into his own bag before Sakusa noticed, when the tingling of the door came on. 

A soft laugh and conversation the two people came by. Atsumu didn't give it much attention —he was too occupied worrying where the other Sakusa's green neon sock was — When a gasp made him look up. 

''Sakusa-kun?'' 

_Sakusa-kun?_ The hell. 

Atsumu looked at the person in front of him and behind Sakusa. A young dude with dark hair and blue eyes. He was accompanied by what Atsumu can only describe as a himbo, tugging at his hip and looking at Sakusa with frowning eyes. 

''Hikari-san'' Sakusa said. 

Wait a minute, wait a damn minute. 

''It's been so long!'' the guy exclaimed and almost jumped at sakusa to hug him, but Sakusa moved out of his reach, making Atsumu smirk. 

''The famous Hikari-san! I've heard so much about you.'' Atsumu said, politely and hoping his actual annoyance would show subtly. 

''Oh, and you are?'' Hikari asked, pointing at him.

Atsumu felt his grin go wider and his eyes go darker, ''I'm Omi-omi's most important friend,'' 

''Nice to meet you.''

''Yeah, you too.'' 

After that, Hikary ignored him and started to chat with Sakusa. They talked about redundant stuff, Sakusa mostly answering with ''No's'' and ''Yes's''. Atsumu was for the first time, proud of his boyfriend's coldness. 

When Atsumu finally finished their clothes, he grabbed both bags, took Sakusa's hand, who retracted it immediately. 

He felt his blood go cold and the back of his neck burn, but smiled and said, ''Let's go, Omi. I'm thinkin' of pork for dinner tonight, and there was a sale on the supermarket.'' Atsumu said already at the front door. '' Nice meeting you, Hikari-kun.'' 

''Same, Miya-san! Good bye, Kiyoomi. Please, call me sometime.'' 

Atsumu pushed the door open immediately and opened his umbrella to cover himself. Wishing for some lightning to strike Hikari once he got out of the laundry.

The laundry place was a few blocks away Atsumu's building, so they walked their way back. The rain was faint and the cars at the street rushing beside them, illuminated Atsumu's sneakers on the wet pavement. Sakusa wasn't talking, Atsumu wasn't talking, the air between them felt tense. 

Just when they were walking past the park, Sakusa said, ''I'm sorry.'' 

Atsumu's gaze moved from the ground, and finally looked at Sakusa's face. His eyes were emotionless, no sign of remorse really showing in his face. But Sakusa was looking straight, he wasn't looking at Atsumu. Probably in shame.

He couldn't lie, ''Yeah. I felt bad 'bout it, but I guess it can't be helped. If ya don't want me to touch ya, it's okay.'' He tried to sound as relaxed as possible, not wanting to burden Sakusa over something so small. In fact, he was glad that Sakusa wasn't mad. 

''It wasn't that— '' Sakusa responded. 

Both of them stopped in a halt, even Sakusa surprised by how desperate his voice sounded. Sakusa ran a hand across his hair and grabbed the umbrella himself, setting to walk again, Atsumu following him. 

''Don't try to put up with it just because you feel sorry for me. I know I hurted you, I am sorry. Also, it wasn't that I didn't want to grab your hand,'' Sakusa said, while getting closer to him and touching his shoulders faintly. Atsumu felt his cheeks reddened. 

Atsumu's mouth formed a thin line and nodded, ''Okay then, I was a little bit mad. But it's not that I feel sorry for you either, y'know. You needed your space, I get it.'' 

The air between them finally felt calm, a light breeze made Sakusa's curls ruffle while he finally looked at Atsumu. Nodding, a silent agreement of whatever that incident was, was cleared and behind them. Atsumu smiled a little. 

But after a while, Atsumu had another question he never felt himself strong enough to do. And the moment seemed appropriate enough, so he asked, ''Was he too bad?'' 

Sakusa hummed in agreement, not giving more details. Atsumu frowned, now angry at having missed the opportunity to say some more nasty things to Sakusa's ex. 

But at the same time, Atsumu felt something stop in his throat and a nervous laugh falling out of his lips, and an urge to lock themselves in his apartment for the rest of the week.

''He's so lame, by the way,'' Atsumu said. ''The way he talked, also, whatever was beside him. They looked ridiculous wearing matching shirts. And the hair, Oh God. Does he not know what a hairdresser is? Walking around with that fail of perm, hideous.'' 

Sakusa snorted, grabbed Atsumu's nose and pinched it. He whined and slapped Sakusa's hand, but Sakusa moved away before he could hit him and said, ''Says the one who discovered what a toner after bleaching his hair at home for five years.'' 

''Fuck off.'' 

  
  


* * *

Atsumu threw his phone at his side. He already got tired of his feed after 15 minutes, and started to look around something to entertain himself while Sakusa was still in the shower. 

He then looked at one of the most weird and interesting things in Sakusa's apartment, a photo of Sakusa's family. It was far away tucked down in the bookcase beside the TV. He stood up, watching his ankle, and limped his way there. He took it from the back, and studied. An arch eyebrow and an entertained smug on his face. Little Sakusa was seated in the middle, with his elder sisters on each side, father and mother behind them. Ten year old Sakusa's face stoic as expected, and his hair slicked bad, springing at the back of his neck rebelliously. He then noticed, for the first time, that Sakusa was the only one in the picture with curly hair. Which was weird. He has seen that picture a few times, but he never noticed that detail. Now he got curious, since Sakusa told him last weekend if he could accompany him to a family dinner next month. 

The rustling of doors opening, and muted steps, Atsumu wasn't surprised when he heard Sakusa walking behind him, settling on his back.

''What are you doing?'' Sakusa asked, while still toweling his hair. 

Atsumu turned around and looked at him, moving the frame in front of him to point at little Sakusa, ''Why are'ya the only one with curly hair? Isn't that something hereditary?'' 

Sakusa took the photo from his hands, and placed it behind him, making Atsumu's nose almost touch his neck, and definitely smell his soap. ''My grandmother was the one with curly hair. I was the only one who took after her.'' 

Something in his tone felt off, but Atsumu was a little bit too focused on Sakusa's moles on his neck rather than listening. And just as fast as he got close, as fast he walked far, and Atsumu almost pouted. Instead, he just commented, ''Oh. That makes sense.'' 

While Atsumu walked back to the sofa and Sakusa moved around the apartment, Atsumu said, ''I think I haven't taken a photo like that in a while. The last one we took was just after my mom remarried Hank.''

Sakusa's voice could be heard from the washing room, ''Your mom remarried?''

Atsuu grabbed his phone and answered loudly back, ''Yeah, I thought I told you before. My parents got divorced when I graduated highschool.'' 

''No, I didn't know.'' 

''Well, she's already married again. Hank's nice, I like the dude. He's like... 'Samu once said, he's like a warm yakuza. He's nive to be around, but his rings and tattoos on his fingers could mislead you to something else. If he weren't american, we would have heavy suspicious on him.'' 

Hank was a salary man working in Japan, he met his mom on a train when someone tried to steal her bag. His mom accepted to lunch after it and the rest was history. Atsumu was okay with it, but Osamu had a harder time accepting him. No one could be good enough for their ma, which was true, but Hank made her ma happy, so Atsumu got no problem. 

Sakusa came back to the living room, with their bags of the laundry they washed yesterday on his shoulders. He sat down on the carpet and emptied the bag full socks, shirts, sweatpants and underwear. Atsumu moved to the floor too, to sit cross legged in front of him, and carried the blanket with him to put in on his lap.

The night outside was fairly quiet, even for the both of them. Atsumu's ankle had been hurting a little but he refrained from saying. He was trying to find a way to spend the rest of the night, he was bored. Recently, Atsumu saw one of their fans drew the black jackals as Ghibli characters, it was cute and Atsumu got interested in the movies. Suna once said they were cute. When Atsumu looked into the titles, they seemed … fun. Maybe that night they could watch the movies, and end up watching volleyball after it. He could do with watching volleyball all day for all he cared, but while dating Sakusa, he found out that his boyfriend had many interests besides volleyball. Like, reading, cooking, gardening, pottery, even writing. How did he had so many hobbies while also being one of the laziest people Atsumu knew? He didn't know, but maybe it had to do with Sakusa liking his alone time a lot.

Meanwhile both settling on Sakusa's neon socks and Atsumu's dark pants, Atsumu started folding. Following Sakusa's familiar pattern; The inside out, first the sides, then tucked it three times. Both of them arranging a row of burrito clothes on the baskets that Sakusa and Atsumu share. 

Some of Atsumu's clothes had been in there for a while now, practicality for when he decided to crash on Sakusa's sofa after practice, but still, he couldn't reconcile how after seven months of dating, he hasn't even grabbed Sakusa's ass. 

Atsumu was obviously okay with waiting, or not even doing anything. But Sakusa didn't make the deed easy. Not wearing those stupid gray sweatpants that stretched at his thighs, or with that black long shirt that framed his biceps and his chest with every move he did. 

He liked his boyfriend, that was a given. Probably him, and sure many others, looked at Sakusa with lustful eyes. Sakusa's appearance was a big plus on his book, taking a side Sakusa's annoying, difficult, pain in the fucking ass, personality, besides how much Sakusa liked to sucked his teeth at him whenever Atsumu tried to make a decent conversation. Atsumu was rather proud of himself when he found out he had a big crush on the curly angsty dark hair guy. Well, at first he panicked, then he got mad, at the end he accepted it, and decided that he made a good choice. Sakusa was pretty hot.

Atsumu moved his eyes away from Sakusa's arms, and took TV control on the couch, turned on the screen, and started to look for something to watch. Sakusa would probably want to just be in the quiet. But Atsumu needed his attention elsewhere his annoyance and how hot his neck felt, so he put on the sports channel.

''Where you looking for something?'' Sakusa asked him, folding one of Atsumu's pink sweaters, making a visible disgust face.

Atsumu rolled his eyes, and folded his blue socks, ''Just a kids movie people said was fun.'' 

''You may find it in a streaming service.'' 

''Nah, we can just watch a game instead. Too much hussle.'' 

''Whatever you want then,'' Sakusa said, as he leaned in and grabbed the other bag of clothes behind him, letting Atsumu see a thin stripe of skin on his back, divorered by his shirt going up and showing two dimples above the line of his sweatpants. 

He was about to curse him and every god on earth, the music of the commercial got both attention. Atsumu covered his smile instinctively. 

''Shut up.'' 

''But Omi-kun. You— look'' Atsumu was already laughing behind his mouth now, he loves seeing Sakusa annoyed. In the commercial, Sakusa looked stiff and visibly uncomfortable. He looked ridiculous naming the lines the brand gave him. That, and his face trying to smile, was more than ridiculous. He got meme'd just after the commercial got aired, and Atsumu didn't shut up about it for a whole day. 

But the problem was that Sakusa didn't obviously look that bad after at all. Maybe in the first shots where the focus was on Sakusa's saying the brand's logo he looked bad, but he knew the whole world agreed, in that the rest where Sakusa is filmed doing serves is more than worth it. The brand probably doubled his sales. 

And obviously, even thought Sakusa looked hot as fuck, Atsumu would never admit it to his face. Instead, he spent a good ten minutes making fun of him, making Sakusa visibly grumpy. Sakusa said that it didn't matter, as long as the commercial showed how his form truly is, he didn't care to look. 

And boy, did it show. It was a fact that Sakusa had one of the best forms in the league. Atsumu knew that better than anyone. And still, the commercial just remarked that fact.

The shots focused on his body from bottom to top. They focused on the way his legs looked while jumping, his thighs marking and his feet swooped off the floor graciously, showing the four moles at his calves. Then at how his whole body moved accordingly, his stomach tense and his arms perfectly placed. Sakusa was a hard regimen athlete, disciplined, never missing a single detail on what he could out best. Sincerely, Atsumu felt like he was falling all over again whenever he watched Sakusa play with too much attention.

Sakusa rolled his eyes at him while Atsumu was still imitating him, and stretched his arms up, now showing his V lines. Atsumu felt it— the need to run his tongue on Sakusa's abs— and shut it, making another joke on Sakusa's hair out of place in one of the shots. Sakusa told him to shut up, and both started bickering nonsense again.

The Itachiyama shirt miraculously made it on his hands, and Atsumu started giggling at the origin of the shirt on the dirty clothes. On how he found it last week, and wore it around the gym, shouting the same things Sakusa used to say in highschool. Also making comments on how funny it is that sakusa wore neon colors. 

When Sakusa did like them and started arguing with Atsumu about it. Atsumu, as always, managed to shrug it off while eating dinner, saying it suits him anyway, it's just ironic that being so gloomy he liked such bright colors. Sakusa then leaned on him, kissed his cheek, to then ruffle his hair and now make fun of Atsumu's dumb face. From the surprise, dropped the meatball on his fork, dirtying the Itachiyama shirt. It was the first time he heard Sakusa laugh loudly. 

''See, like brand new?'' Atsumu said, holding the shirt up, showing it to Sakusa. 

''Give me that,'' Sakusa tried to snatch the shirt from his hands, but Atsumu hid it right away. 

''No. It's mine now. This will go where it belongs,'' and Atsumu threw it into his bag, the shirt waiting for its fate on Atsumu's sleeping drawer. The shirt was small, but it had been stretched for a whole day. Also, he just wanted it. ''What a wonderful memory. You were such an asshole.'' 

Sakusa arched an eyebrow to him, '' So you're a pervert, huh?'' 

Atsumu's face got visibly red, his eyes popped open, he started stuttering angrily, ''Of course not. I—I just like remembering when you were younger. You used to be so annoying, egocentric and proud. It was so dumb and funny.'' 

''You could barely talk to anyone without rubbing your fucking ego on everyone faces. You still do.'' 

''Hey!'' 

Atsumu was about to jump on him and throw a punch, when Sakusa stood up and announced he was making dinner. 

Still a little bit annoyed and ashamed, he finished to fold their clothes at peace, in Sakusa's apartment, alone, and not in the laundry place, where Sakusa's ex's arrived last week. His appearance a reminder of how delicat Sakusa could be sometimes.

If Sakusa knew that Atsumu thought of him as delicate, he would get so mad. Atsumu played with the idea just to know how angry he would get, and make fun of him. 

But all of it was left to ideas, since Atsumu didn't plan on making fun of Sakusa's past. Meeting his ex was something else, like he could understand a little bit more about why Sakusa was the way he was in their relationship. Hikari's stance was preachy and charismatic, his chin up and hands moving around pompously. Atsumu felt nauseous on how he saw something of himself in him, but Sakusa fastly argued, ''Hikaru never talks about himself, just on how good he is to other people. And you're a self-preaching jerk, Atsumu. You never talk about anything but yourself, and that's a big difference.'' Atsumu knew Sakusa was half-joking and really didn't think they were much alike, but he still felt conscious. 

Mostly because he knows Sakusa's ex was always on the receiving end. He asked Sakusa many things, a lot of things. Things that Sakusa, sometimes, didn't like to do. Big parties with people talking numb words, eating junk food at places Sakusa wouldn't chose to go willingly, and – ''One time Hikaru blew me while I was asleep.'' 

When Atsumu was asking for himself, he was only joking. He had just woke up from a nap in the hotel, with a hard on and his boyfriend freshly out of the shower. Deep down he knew Sakusa would die first before giving him a blow job on the whim, but he still tried. They had been dating for three months, and Atsumu was starting to want some action. 

He asked Sakusa to blow him while he was asleep next time, so he could wake up merrily. But when Sakusa commented on what had happened with Hikaru, Atsumu felt every muscle on his back tense, his skin turn cold, and his voice left him. He took the pillow behind him, hugged it and put his hand on his chest, making a hard question — that day he found out how hard saying words could be sometimes — ''And had it happened again?'' 

Sakusa had his back to him, on his own bed, Atsumu could only make his silhouette by the night lamp, his curls already rebelling after shower. Sakusa's low voice mumbled, ''He did it a couple of times, and also did me while he was drunk at night. He had the bad habit to play with pills, and always put something on my mouth while we kissed. By the time I realized he was also drugging me, I was already in bed being fucked.'' 

That moment made Atsumu's world crumble, and he had to reorganize it again. 

In Atsumu's new world, his brother was still the same, he was glad of that. He loved him and hated him, but he was happy that he had him just as he is. His mother was more of a good Ma then. Thanks to her, Atsumu realized, he had been little safer on night outs, many pieces of advice told before walking out of the door; ''Never accept drinks, just go out with those you really trust, always keep your brother close.'' 

And in Atsumu's new world, Sakusa was a lot braver. Not just against the monsters on the court, but also in his life. 

It was then that Atsumu thought that Sakusa didn't enjoy it, sexual comments or too much physical intimacy. From then on, any other comment relating them and sexual continuities, was erased with a white bucket on the walls of his mind, giving space only to Sakusa's voice, eyes and curls. Things he could enjoy and will for the rest of his life. 

So everytime Atsumu craved for Sakusa, he would feel guilty about his feelings. 

Kita would be disappointed in his doubt and his dishonesty with himself, and sometimes at night he would lay awake, thinking about how good Sakusa looked during training, to then paint his walls again with a bright white and go to sleep. And in the morning, he would wake up to Sakusa's good morning text and a photo of his breakfast – a toast with peach jam, two sunny side up eggs, black coffee and a chocolate protein shake – and his peace sign peaking at the frame of the photo. Atsumu's smile would go soft, the need to hug him and protect him no matter what, he would reply with, ''Those eggs look horrible, put some ham with them.'' Sakusa always said that he only needed eggs and his protein shake to start the morning, no wonder he was so thin, Atsumu thought. 

Proof of Sakusa's low calories diet was on his on-going dinner; vegetables with some chicken and semi-sweet sauce. Atsumu liked the way Sakusa cooked, it was very like him, simple but still difficult enough that it took a little bit of skill to pull off, just like talking to him. 

Atsumu finished folding their clothes, put them all in their baskets and stood up slowly from the carpet.

Sakusa sent him a message on his phone, a picture, and said from the kitchen ''Is that the movie you want to watch?'' 

Atsumu walked to the dinner table, and asked,''How did ya know?''

''Saw the fan art. We can watch it after dinner.'' 

''Oh, yeah. That sounds good.'' 

''Good.'' 

And dinner did he want. Sakusa's cooking was good, not as good as 'Samu's, but still good. Sakusa was fairly good at many things, only when it came to him and tools, he could basically do anything. And Atsumu would be jealous of him before, but now that he too enjoys Sakusa's traits, he loves coming over and have some of his low carb stir fry with peanut sauce. And get another one of Sakusa's books reading list recommended.

Another of the reasons why Atsumu liked getting fed by Sakusa in his apartment, was that he got a full view of him doing it. Like cutting vegetables, and how he had his sleeves rolled. He noticed what he was doing, and got annoyed on how much he couldn't help but look at him, so he instead made small talk. 

Did Atsumu really care for those plushies he saw at the store? Maybe he did, but that wasn't distracting him either, by how Sakusa's lips turned into a concentrated pout, and his long fingers flexed, parting the cabbage.A single curl falling on his forehead, and his long lashes framing his black eyes.

Atsumu's stomach grumbled, and he almost sighed in relief, thanking his body on distracting him. ''Are ya gonna add green peppers?'' He asked. 

''Wasn't planning to.'' 

''Will you, please?'' 

''No.'' But Sakusa looked through the refrigerator anyway, getting out a bag of yellow and green peppers.

Atsumu laughed to himself, ''You're such a pain in my butt.'' 

''The same to you too.'' Sakusa answered as he put a clip on his fringe, to stop it from sticking to his forehead. Atsumu paid attention to Sakusa's face, then to his hands, then to his forearms, the commercial reeling again in his mind, and thought about setting the table to keep himself busy. 

He stood up slowly, walking the few steps before noticing he almost hit his bad foot with the table. He exhaled and walked again. 

Sakusa asked him what he was doing, ''Setting the table, obviously.'' 

''Stop it, I'll do it.'' 

''Omi, it's just a few steps, I'll be okay.'' 

''Atsumu.'' 

''I'm already here, see?'' Atsumu said while getting out the plates and glasses from the countertops, ''Just finish the dinner already, I'm really hungry.'' Sakusa grumbled something back, but the searing of the chicken was too loud and Atsumu carried on his task. 

The problem was that he wanted to move everything in just one go, so he had the plates in one hand, the glasses in the other, utensils in the glasses and no hands to rest his weight if needed. But he was just going to walk a few steps, twelve to be exact, it wasn't supposed to be a problem. 

Sadly it turned out to be one, when he hit his foot on the same place he earlier evaded. Making him lose balance and fall to the wooden floor. A glass broke, pieces of it piercing his skin on his forearm, a thin red river running across his skin and cascading slowly to the ground. 

It hurt, but not as much as the ''ATSUMU!'' Sakusa yelled, and his unfamiliar worried gaze on him. Sakusa left everything in the kitchen and ran to the bathroom. Atsumu just sat there, looking at the hand that was making pressure on the wound.

A single drop fell to the floor, it probably will stain the wood. Sakusa was going to hate him. Maybe Sakusa would finally get rid of him and his stubbornness, done with how unnatural he is for him. Starting on how he can't even follow simple orders.

* * *

Atsumu had been told many things before, and selfish, was one of the most common.

When he was a kid, he got everything he asked for. When he was a teenager, he got the same, and maybe some more. Osamu told him he was selfish the most, which he was, Atsumu finally admitted when he stole Osamu's pudding and fought over it all week. Atsumu wanted the pudding, he took it 'cause he could. So yeah, he's a selfish one. 

One morning in their last year of high school, just when Osamu finished pouring milk on his cereal and Atsumu orange juice in his glass, their dad told them he was leaving. Walking out the front door, with nothing but a suitcase and a backpack, he waved a last goodbye. 

Atsumu and Osamu never understood why, their mother told them he just left with a woman he loved more. But how could he find someone better than their Ma? When they first talked about it, they were angry. They had the right to be mad; yell, punch something, it couldn't be helped. Later on, Osamu accepted it, only talking with his father on birthdays and new years eve; but Atsumu never let it go. 

After that time, they would never talk about it again. Not until Atsumu ran into his father and his new wife two years ago. 

The man looked different, but still like Osamu and him. Atsumu asked him why he left, his father was silent and tried to walk away, stating that he was going to ignore him and his past. But his wife started screaming at Atsumu, saying ''You people asked too much of your father! And you Atsumu, more out of all! You're a menace, asking and doing things only thinking of yourself. Why were you even surprised when he left? He means nothing to you.'' 

Atsumu's father eventually shut her up, said his goodbyes, thanking that Atsumu was looking healthy. ''Is Osamu doing good too?''

''Better than me,'' Atsumu answered. His father nodded and walked away. 

Atsumu took a long walk after that, it got dark when he realized he arrived at his brother's restaurant. There, he told Osamu everything, Osamu hugged him, and said ''It's not your fault. Most of the time it is, but not this time.'' But since then, Atsumu walks on his fingertips, scared of pushing away those he loves the most. 

* * *

Sakusa crutched beside him, and softly said, ''Let me look.'' He had his mask on, his latex gloves and his first aid kit at his side. Atsumu looked away and let go of his arm. Sakusa inspected it, grabbing his forearm gently, and then grabbed the necessary stuff to cure him out of the plastic bag. 

Atsumu's mind couldn't focus on making conversation, or to even make fun of himself. He wanted to vomit and then go to sleep for three days. He didn't know when he started breathing through his mouth, or when got so sweaty. Sakusa didn't comment on it, just set at his task, eyebrows frowning, making his forehead wrinkle. 

''Done,'' Sakusa said, leaving Atsumu's parched arm and grabbing some cotton to clean the blood from the floor, ''Luckily, it's not deep, just some scratches that should heal in a few days. I guess since they were on the inside of your arm, explains the bleeding. How are you feeling?'' 

Atsumu swallowed nothing and answered, ''Fine.'' He was lying, Sakusa must have noticed. Still, Sakusa helped him get up, cleaned the glass and ordered some pizza for dinner. 

''Everything's burnt and I'm not in the mood to cook anymore,'' Sakusa explained standing at his side on the sofa, covering Atsumu's legs with the fuzzy blanket. He nodded and watched the TV, his breath evening out slowly, his hands cold. He wanted to go to sleep, but he also was hungry and the pizza sounded good. Sakusa walked back and forth a few times between his bedroom moving the folded clothes, then to the kitchen to clean it, then to the front door receiving the pizza, back to the kitchen for some plastic plates and water, back to his sofa, his own blanket on his lap and an array of paper towels for both of them, making sure not a single drop of tomato sauce fell on the fabric. All that time Atsumu was silent, waiting for Sakusa's complaint about what happened earlier, maybe some scolding, and Atsumu could finally go to sleep on Sakusa's couch as expected. Sakusa was probably mad that his kitchen floor now had a stain of blood, making Atsumu think of a hundred and one ways to fix it. Osamu probably knows since most of his restaurant's furniture is made from wood. 

The pizza tasted greasy on his lips and he suddenly missed one of his grandma's favorite dishes, udon soup with umeboshi onigiris, Sakusa's favorites. The sound of the stupid commercial ringed on his head and jumped all across his mind, the sight of Sakusa's stupidly beautiful form big on Sakusa's living room TV, again.

''I don't like how my hair looks in it,'' Sakusa said, while taking a sip of water. Sakusa Kiyoomi, who drank water while eating pizza 'cause he says it's better than soda. 

Atsumu's memory fazzes and he starts feeling sick, ''I think I'll go home.'' 

''What? You can't.'' 

''Of course I can, I can do whatever I want.'' Atsumu was angry, because he wanted to go and be alone. He wasn't in the mood to pretend to be better, it wasn't easy. 

He remembered when he first realized he caught feelings for Kiyoomi, how stupid he felt and how excited. And the happiness he felt in that trip was immense, just like when he does a match and pulls a new move out of nowhere — although those are less times now, he knows better — or a like the first time Osamu did cook for him wholeheartedly, and how effective he felt about his brother. 

_''Is it still there?''_ He questioned himself. Is his affective side still there?. He knows it is, but at that moment, he wanted to cry and get out of there. He couldn't deserve Sakusa's gentleness and would make sure it was like that. 

Sakusa grabbed his wrist and made Atsumu look at him, and Atsumu rebuked, ignoring him and standing up, freeing himself from his release. 

Sakusa didn't stand up, remained placed while Atsumu walked slowly to the front door. His back to Sakusa, Atsumu felt his heart heavy, noticing that he was hoping that Sakusa would stop him. He took out his phone to call a cab, when he heard Sakusa's feet rushing to him. His hand on his wrist again. Atsumu cursed. 

''Let go,'' he said. 

''You're not going anywhere like that,'' Sakusa answered.

''You can't make me.'' 

''Not until you tell me what the fuck is wrong with you.'' 

Atsumu turns to him, about to snap, start to wholly fight, when Sakusa grabbed his cheeks with his other hand, making him shut up. Atsumu felt his ears fume, the risk of actually crying coming like a flood out of no where. 

Sakusa's face was pensive, still calm, but his lips formed a thin line. He was looking down at Atsumu, his curly lashes blinking more rapidly than normal, like he was trying to decipher something. 

''I'm not mad,'' Sakusa finally said, and Atsumu had to swallow a soft gurgle, trying not to cry.

Sakusa moved slowly, now caressing Atsumu's cheek, closed his eyes, and Atsumu closed them too, sealing their lips with a soft kiss. 

Atsumu could smell Sakusa's shampoo mixed with the pizza, his hand was now traveling to Atsumu's waist, and Atsumu moved closer to him, as near as he could. Sakusa then opened his mouth, and Atsumu welcomed him, his tongue then drowning him in a sky of bliss. Atsumu's eyes, that were strongly shut, were relaxing more and more, until he became the usual puddle of affection he got whenever Sakusa kissed him stupid. When they separated, Sakusa had a small blush on his cheeks, but Atsumu knew his face was blushing hard, a little bit teary and covered his mouth with the back of his hand.

''Don't ever do that again'' Atsumu mumbles. 

''Did you finally calmed down?'' Sakusa asks, caressing his side gently. 

Atsumu is helpless. 

''Yes.'' 

''Good, now. Let's sit down and I'll wait until you tell me what's really wrong.'' 

Atsumu's anxiety high rockets again, and he breathed hard. He felt afraid, but by the way Sakusa looked at him and grabbed his hand, he felt a little bit more at ease with himself. Maybe if Sakusa started to hate him, he got that last kiss as a reward. 

So they sit down, the TV still on now showing the movie that Atsumu wanted to watch. Sakusa closed the pizza box and put on some aromatizer in the air, before turning away again, grabbing their blanket, throwing in it above Atsumu's head. 

''Omii~'' Atsumu groaned, by the way Sakusa was shamelessly handling him, but Sakusa didn't bother. He kept moving around until he knew both were going to be comfortable. Sakusa sat next to him, looking at him directly in the eyes. Another new face, one of calmness but waiting, searching, and Atsumu knew he couldn't evade Sakusa's interest, so he said it.

He explained how he has been feeling about their relationship and the sexual aspect, on how sorry he feels for having these thoughts. Although he wanted to be reasonable and do his best, he just can't accept it sometimes. He was sorry for not respecting Sakusa's boundaries in a whole hearted way, and that maybe he's not suited after all.

The whole time he was evading his gaze, laughing nervously whenever he made a bad joke about how horny he has been, and remarked many times that he was sorry, that he tried to be caring for him and wait as long as he could.

When Atsumu finished and finally looked at Sakusa, he was staring at him with big eyes, really staring. For long seconds, just like when Atsumu told he was interested in poetry, like he couldn't believe it. And Atsumu got angry, just as that time, offended and hurt that his feelings were that foreign. 

''What?'' Atsumu spitted. 

Sakusa opened his mouth, shut it. Atsumu huffed and looked away, but Sakusa grabbed Atsumu's hand. 

''Let me go.''

''Wait.''

''What.''

''I'm trying to think of what to say.'' 

It took a moment for Sakusa to process, longer that Atsumu could wait, so he just murmured, ''Are you sure you don't want me to go home?''

''Why would you go?'' 

''I can't be here'' 

''Atsumu.'' 

''What?'' 

Sakusa sighed, and moved Atsumu's hand. Slowly, gently, if Atsumu wanted to move away, he could. But Atsumu sat there, watching rather than feeling, his fingers touching the soft fabric on Sakusa's pants. He felt like he needed to see it, never moving his eyes, his fingers felt numb.

And then, something hot hardened under his touch. Atsumu gasped softly, taking a soft hold of Sakusa's dick, making Sakusa snort softly in front of him. 

''I can't believe you thought I didn't want to sleep with you,'' Sakusa hummed.

''You're unfair, Omi-kun.'' Atsumu said, looking at Sakusa directly at his eyes, while he put his other hand on Sakusa's neck, moving closer. ''You never showed a sign to actually sleep with me,''Atsumu gasped again when he felt Sakusa's dick hardened even more. 

''Well, it is true that I wanted to wait. But haven't asked in a long time, and thought you just weren't in the mood,'' Sakusa's lips were once again close to his, and Atsumu saw a new shine in his eyes. Atsumu felt excitement form down in his own groin, and smiled smugly.

Sakusa is the first man he has dated. He had slept with other men before, but Atsumu still found himself amazed on how easily he lost it with Sakusa and Sakusa only. He started to walk on his knees to Sakusa's lap, getting out of his blanket and sitting on Sakusa's thighs. Their faces were close, and Atsumu closed the space between them kissing Sakusa, licking his mouth fervently and slowly. He felt like he wanted to eat Sakusa. 

Sakusa sighed low again, took Atsumu's face between his hands and made their kiss deeper. 

But Atsumu prefered to be eaten by him. 

After they moved away for air, he caressed Sakusa's neck with the tip of his fingers, playing with his loose curls. Then, Sakusa smiled. Simple, showing little of his white teeths, and huffed into him. 

''What're ya laughing at?'' Atsumu pouted.

''Nothing,'' Sakusa said, and kissed Atsumu, his hands now at each side of Atsumu's gips, letting their crotches touch. When grinded for the first time, a slow thrust against his sweatpants, Sakusa bit his lip. Atsumu snorted, and playfully, letting himself go, grind himself on Sakusa again. Both building a pace that he hoped, could finally get them to the end.

* * *

Once over at dinner in Atsumu's apartment, Atsumu was looking at how loving Kita and Aran actually were. Hugging, chatting with Suna and Osamu in front of them. His brother and friend just recently started dating, and Aran insisted on having dinner to celebrate. Why in Atsumu's house? He didn't know, but after a bottle of sake, he didn't care. 

In a drunk state, and obviously not caring if his friends heard him, he asked Kita how did he knew when he's doing good with? And his love is actually being known. 

Kita started laughing softly, while everyone else rolled their eyes at him. Everyone was so meant to him except for Kita. Atsumu started to sulk, when Kita walked to him and set beside him, he ruffled his hair and put his head on his shoulder, saying, ''People love you, Atsumu. It doesn't matter how annoying you can be. It is them to decide, you only have to love back and that's it. The rest, you will just feel the rest fall in place.'' 

He remembered 'Samu telling Kita to not tell lies, and Aran patting his back, but Atsumu nodded to himself and went to sleep. 

* * *

Atsumu's voice was starting to feel hoarse. He didn't remember being one to be loud, but when Sakusa got his hands on him, his moans fell out of him. He also discovered that Sakusa's was too good at fingering. 

He doesn't even remember talking about it, sincerely he thought that he was going to be one on top, but when Sakusa lifted him up from the sofa, laid him on _his_ _silky_ bed, and cupped his ass while kissing his neck, Atsumu opened his legs so fast that Sakusa even reprimanded him for not being careful with his ankle. 

Now Atsumu naked from the waist down, Sakusa's hand gloved, one finger deep inside him, the lewd sound of Sakusa opening him, made his dick jump. 

''Oh- O-Omi,'' Atsumu murmured. Instantly Sakusa was at his face, their noses touching. 

''What?'' his voice sounded monotone, but his fringe was sticking to his sweaty forehead, and his mouth was slightly open. 

''More,'' Atsumu moaned, frowning his face. ''At this pace you'll last forever.'' 

Sakusa laughed and moved out his finger, ''I don't plan going all the way tonight.'' And then Atsumu felt a second one entering him, one knuckle deep. He gasped, letting the quick pain burn out and welcoming the slow pleasure, as Sakusa entered him slowly. Once he had two fingers deep as he could, he pulled them out and brushed Atsumu's prostate, making him squirm. ''Let's take it easy,'' Sakusa said.

Atsumu started to buckle his hips at the pace of Sakusa's fingers, while responding between breaths, ''I don't think your fingers up my ass could translate to taking it easy.'' 

Sakusa shoved the third one in one go, making Atsumu moan loudly, ''O dont hear you complaining.'' 

''Fuck.'' 

''And you won't.'' 

Atsumu couldn't help but smile, arching his back and closing his eyes, letting Sakusa finger him open.

Sakusa, hunched on his knees back, took Atsumu's fick and started to jerk him off. It was soon before Atsumu felt like he was going to come, grabbing Sakusa's silks under him. Sakusa smiled above him, Atsumu then grabbed his own hair, but his other hand reached for Sakusa's one on him, interlacing his fingers with him while Sakusa worked him. Sakusa gripped him tighter at the base, making Atsumu see white on the edge of his eyes, a quick flip low in his stomach, and his breath leaving him. 

''You look good like this,'' Sakusa said, smiling to the side.

Hushing out a long moan, Atsumu's eyes watered and his body started trembling, his mind going numb, before finding release, his legs twitching and his hand on him going faster, enjoying the way Sakusa's gloved hand felt on his fingers, coming on the condom and Sakusa's hand. Atsumu moaned and long Omi while coming, his whole body feeling stars under his skin.

After a few seconds of ragged breaths, and Atsumu opening his eyes, to Sakusa breathing and smiling smugly to the side. ''That wasn't so bad,'' Atsumu said, breathless, then hiding his face with his forearm. 

''Hmm,'' Sakusa hummed, while taking Atsumu out the condom and tying it up for him, to then remove the lubed glove from his hand. Then Atsumu felt Sakusa give him soft kisses on the inside of his thighs, making atsumu tremble more. 

''Stop it, I'm still sensitive.'' 

''I know,'' Sakusa kept on kissing him, slowly, leaving wet trails on his skin, that shined with the night lamp at their side. 

Atsumu moaned and opened his legs even more, the sudden need to touch Sakusa blooming on his hands. He took Sakusa's face on his hands, he sat down and kissed him. Kissing him slowly, feeling his chest thigh in a too happy emotion. Sakusa caressed his cheek, making Atsumu smile and made the kiss deeper. Moving his hands south on him. 

He moved away to look into his eyes. ''Ya sure ya want this?'' Atsumu asked, knowing that touching Sakusa was another thing rather than Sakusa touching him. But Sakusa pulled up his shirt, 

''Just shut up,'' Sakusa sounded more playful than annoyed, making Atsumu grin.

''Alright then,'' he said, laying down again. ''I'm all yars'' 

Sakusa rolled his eyes but smiled too, ''Whatever you want, then,'' 

Atsumu arched an eyebrow, but Sakusa grabbed his legs and opened harshly. And when Sakusa tried to set his hands on his hips, Atsumu slapped them playfully, laughing when Sakusa pouted. Making Sakusa to dig his fingers on Atsumu's thighs then, and pull him closer to his groin. Atsumu laughter quieted and then sighed,

already getting harder again. 

Sakusa moved one of his calves to his mouth and bite lightly, then said, ''Pass me the lube.'' 

Atsumu looked for the tube at his hip and passed it to him, Sakusa then lowered carefully Atsumu's legs on each side of him, and put some lube on his fingers, warmed it up form a moment, pulled down his sweatpants at his calves and touched himself. 

At the sight, of a reddened Sakusa biting slightly at his lip, and smiling at him, lowered eyes and his curly hair shining against the lamp ligh, Atsumu felt himself get hard again, and the need to touch Sakusa religiously. 

But before he could sit down, Sakusa grabbed both of his legs again, closed them together, and moved them to his left shoulder. Still attentive on Atsumu's ankle. He then saw Sakusa rip another condom, and put it on himself.

''You should look at yourself, you look stupider than normal,'' Sakusa said. 

But before Atsumu could say something, he felt his whole body turn into heat, his mind again going on full motion, when he noticed the touch of something slippery against the inside of his thighs.

He felt like choking on his own spit and had to take a deep breath, before moaning ''Oh my god, you stupid— '' Sakusa pressed further, ''arrogant—'' and further, ''son of a bitch— '' to the hilt, touching Atsumu's dick against his. Skin to skin, the sound of Sakusa's breath and the harsh claw of his fingers on his flesh, Atsumu lost all words. 

Sakusa snickered, moved back and forth again. The pleasure was new, Atsumu thought. He has had sex many times, but this new feeling of safeness, intimacy and lewdness was overwhelming in many forms. The way Sakusa looked at him, making him want to evade his eyes and at the same time, to never stop looking at him. The way Sakusa caressed him, searchingly and wanting, making Atsumu's core jump in eagerness. The way Sakusa murmured his name every three thrusts, low and almost as if he said it only to himself, making Atsumu moan his name even louder. 

A few tears formed at the corner of his left eye, and his lips started to feel dry. Licking his lips, he moved his hands to where they met, grabbing both dicks, searching for release at the same pace of Sakusa thrusts. 

Soon Atsumu's head started to feel light away, his toes curling and his thighs spamming, at the same as Sakusa's thrust started to go faster and more desperate. 

''Atsumu,'' Sakusa murmured. 

''Omi-kun,'' Atsumu moaned slowly. 

When Sakusa came, his breath ragged. Sakusa sighed a soft moan, shrugged violently, and closed his eyes above him, gripping Atsumu's ass thighly. Soon enough, Atsumu came too, with the sticky feeling of lube against his thighs, Sakusa already resting his weight above him, and wanting to feel his hot skin on him. Atsumu felt stars moving up his body again, feathers tickling his stomach and a big peace flooding his body. 

After Atsumu controlled his ticklish body, Sakusa moved away and made a face at him. Probably from the tons of lube on Atsumu's body.

Atsumu rested his weight on his forearms and moved up, ''Ya know, lube is necessary in this type on situations.'' 

''Shut up, don't move. I don't want that all over my sheets.'' 

''Pass me a towel then,''Atsumu asked. 

Sakusa pulled up his pants and walked his way to the bathroom. His walk wobbled slightly, Atsumu noticed, satisfied. When Sakusa came back with a towel, Atsumu tried to grab it, but Sakusa cleaned him himself, disgust all over his face, but his strokes were delicate and thoughtful. Moving it softly across Atsumu's abs, and cleaning all traces of stickiness of his tanned skin. 

He obviously threw the towel to the trash right away, and drenched his hands in hand sanitizer at the night table. Atsumu chuckled and asked for his pants. But then, Sakusa straightened and asked, ''Wanna take a bath?'' 

The question hit Atsumu like a blow, but he smiled and said, ''Sure. Carry me there again.'' 

Sakusa gave him a long nasty look, Atsumu stuck his tongue out at him. Sakusa rolled his eyes, lifted him up and moved both of them to the bathroom. 

* * *

Atsumu knew it was very late because the streets outside were quiet, and the wind whistled loudly. He knew the moment he hit that bed, he would go to sleep fast, maybe even snore. He hoped Sakusa wouldn't break up with him after hearing him snore all night. 

Yeah, breaking up. It seemed Sakusa didn't want to break up with him. On a lighter note, it made sense that Sakusa was just, waiting, he guessed. But still, Atsumu felt relieved, calm and very, very happy that everything cleared out. 

''Omi-kun, you're taking all the blanket.'' But still happy and all, he wasn't going to sleep without cover in Sakusa's freezing apartment. 

Sakusa grunted at his back, gripping the covers more to him, uncovering Atsumu's body from the cold. They were back to back with their feet touching. Atsumu's mind was supposed to be stilled and sleepy, but a voice kept telling him that he had to make sure that Sakusa was alright. 

Even after their kiss session on the tub, and the soft way Sakusa hugged him when Atsumu was sitting in front of him. Even after listening to Sakusa's stories of when he was in university, the good ones, most of the times involving his friends or some fatality. Or the bad ones, like when a teacher once sneezed on him, and he was almost expelled by cursing him under his breath. Or when Sakusa bought a coffee and it was made with whole milk instead of almond milk, and he had to go home for sick leave. Atsumu snorted and laughed and made fun of him in every way he could. 

But even after that, he needed to know if he was okay. And just as he opened his mouth to say something, Sakusa said at his side, '' So you were feeling bad?'' turning to him. Atsumu felt Sakusa's chest touch his back, his nose on his neck, and his arms encircle his waist.

Suddenly Atsumu wanted to cry for some reason. 

Sakusa started to brush his fingertips on his arm, lon strockes that gave his skin goosebumps. Then, he moved his fingers to his scalp, combing his hair with his hands, hair that he earlier dried. 

Atsumu sighed, now relaxed at Sakusa's ministrations, and started explainig, ''Not bad, bad. Just— '' 

''Insecure?'' 

''Please don't say it like that.'' 

''Who would have thought, really.''

Sakusa laughed behind him, and Atsumu hit him softly with his elbow. But still, he snuggled against his back, hugging their legs together.

He grabbed Sakusa's hand on his hand, interlacing their fingers, and moved it to his lips while mumbling, ''I hate you. You know that?'' 

He felt him nod, ''The feeling is reciprocated.'' 

Atsumu then felt like he had all right to feel happy.

''Ugh,''Atsumu grunted. ''I was worried. I didn't know how to bring it up. I— I was scared.''

''Yes?''

''And I was also afraid of hurting you,''

Sakusa rested his cheek on his neck, tingling Atsumu's air with his breath and gave a little kiss there.

''I would tell you if you ever hurt me.'' 

''I know you will... but I didn't want to make you feel like that prick'' 

''Please. Abstain from mentioning my ex on the bed, thank you. Besides, I decided to be with you although you too are a prick.''

''So **now** you're saying I am like that asshole?'' 

''No, Atsumu. Not in the least'' Sakusa said, Atsumu could hear him huff, entertained. ''You're you, and even sometimes I don't understand it, but I want to be with you. Got it?'' 

Pouting and frowning, Atsumu nodded. He turned around, still careful on his ankle, and faced Sakusa. He looked at his eyes for a lon moment, before hiding his head on his chest. Sakusa rested his mouth on his forehead and caged him with his arms. Atsumu could look at two moles in Sakusa's clavicle.

''You know I love you, don't you? You idiot,'' Sakusa said. 

Atsumu's body iced still, his heart beat loud on his ears, his mouth open in surprise. But before he could answer back, Sakusa kissed him again, gently and slowly. Atsumu immediately kissed him back, shutting his eyes and playing with Sakusa's curls, he pressed his body as close as he could. 

His heart really felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. 

When they moved back, Atsumu turned his back to him again, ''Geez, if yar' going to be this sappy at least let me know first. God.'' 

Sakusa uncovered Atsumu from the blanket.

Atsumu grunted, and turned to him again, whispering curses about not wanting to die of hypothermia. Sakusa hugged him again, so they both could share the blanket, and keep warm together. 

And after a few minutes, just when Atsumu was drifting into sleep, he asked a last time, softly and in hopeful voice ''Did it feel good?''

''Yes, it did.'' Sakusa said.

If Sakusa heard his happy yelp, Atsumu silently thanked him for not saying anything. 

—- 

It was morning, and Atsumu opened his eyes slowly. 

If he had to describe it, he had to say he felt blessed by Sakusa's look in the morning. That and angry. 

How in the hell did he look so good just sleeping? 

The light from the sunrise was entering the big window behind him, shining just above Sakusa's head, his curly hair framing his face. Sakusa looked so young, peaceful, no wrinkle nor disgust on his face. It made Atsumu remember for when they were in high school, and the strange memory of him not loving Sakusa like he did. 

Atsumu looked for his phone under his pillow, unlocked it, and took a photo. 

He hoped for that photo too, and Saksua himself, he could appreciate him for the rest of his life. 

**Author's Note:**

> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/dirtypawsstory)


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